tuesday and wednesday.
in these two days, it somewhat summed up my entire secondary school life on string orchestra. on tuesday morning. cheryl senior said something that was really saddening. "viola, today is our last sectionals together." and she has that swollen ankle and was looking at me. and i was like omg. i look at the ceiling and tried to control my emotion. we have had sectionals for over so many times. sometimes with the help of our dearest conductor mr lim, but mostly we did it on our own.
wednesday was the big day. last group to go for the syf. we saw our competitors from other schools and we try to stay as calm as possible. but as time approaches we simply couldn't stop panicking. heart lubdubing. gasping for air. thats all we can do. we went to the tuning room to tune our instruments. and it was time for our show. mr chua patted my back twice. soon i went into a frenzy, an extreme mental agitation. i thought of so many things that i couldn't imagine. the first time mr wong passed me a viola. wanling senior teaching me the basics. huiyi senior telling me the techniques. all i can think of. and now i have the responsibility of sitting on the front row. leading my fellow violist to the grandest stage of all. cheryl was injured and i felt the pressure. i walked to the backstaged with my eyes watered. the previous orchestra played really well. but the only thing i do is to think of past memories. we played. tried to make music revolve around my mind. tried not to think of the judges behind. looked at mr chua and think of the reassurance he had gave me. the scoldings he gave. and its over. time piece first bar was screwed up. the most important bar. screwed.
onced the results were released. all the girls cried. i acted a brave front and consoled some of them. solemnness. devastated. whatever crap. when i heard the word silver it kind of change my life forever. i tried to smile. but i swear it went from good to worse. as the only guy left in the studio you cant possibly expect me to cry like a sissy right. only thing i do was to sit at a corner, pick up my instrument and start plucking the strings.
went home. bathed. went to bed. held a pillow right in my face. cried like no tomorrow.